Gender equality and the problem with musl

(First of all i don't disscusse here about islam, but also this is a disscussion about muslim women and their psychocology)

I made a topic befor with this title : May muslim woman have more than one husband? I wanted to disscuss the real reasons for why women are not as equal as men in islam, and i got very interesting replies and concerns. for example:

A child must be named and follow the father's surname.. not the mom's name.. and it's already being discussed so many times in AE about man leadership and rights in Islam. Only one man.. a father will lead the family.. not the mom.

I have heared many of this befor, but it is too sad to hear it from a woman. I have seen here in Germany many young muslim men who change their german girl friends weekly, but they don't allow their sisters even talk to a german boy, or if they want to marry, the wife must be a virgin!!. The odd thing is these opressed women even give these men right to do so. I have seen once in a talkshow about a muslim woman who was married to a muslim man. She was awar about her husband's past and all german girl friends he had. She said this was his right as man, but as a muslim girl she had to be virgin to marry him, and this is right so.

This is so sad that muslim women subordinate theirselves the men, many of them are awar of which rights they have in Germany, but they strictly prevent theirselves to appreciate their rights.

But what could we except from them , if the muslim men think like that:

Are women same as men physiologically and psychologically? Are their responsibilities in the societies and families the same?

If the answer is no, then how come they can be equal?

In Islam, it is stated very clearly that women are the clothes of men, as the same men are the clothes of women.  As men take more responsibilities for the families, then they should be a level higher in position. The reason is:

Their more responsibilites came from the structure of the society and men's physical and mental abilities, which somehow protects women from engaging in social struggle.  How come one can claim Islam favours men, while it's requiring more responsibilites from men?