QuoteReplyTopic: A neighbourly dilemma Posted: 09-Mar-2009 at 15:47
Originally posted by Northman
I have another arrangement with my neighbor for 30 years. We each have access to each others garages and combined, we have every tool in the book. So if I need anything, I'll go get it, disregarding which garage - and put it back when I'm done - and he will do visa versa.
There is only one exception to this.
20 years ago, I ran a little inquiry with all the neighbors in the street and together we bought a 30 feet ladder for all to use. It hangs on the outside of my neighbors garage, free for everyone to use - also newcomers. It doesn't belong to anyone in particular - it belong to the properties.
You'd enjoy co-op life ... that's how we do all that sort of stuff. The corporation buys and owns most of the outdoor and common-use tools, and all the shareholders (the residents) can come and vote on budgets (actually everyone is supposed to come to budget meetings, but only about half ever show up). There are stores of snow-shovels, gardening tools, painting equipment, ladders, jacks, etc. There's even a portable generator (for blackouts), an air compressor and a set of pneumatic tools (impact wrench, paint sprayer, sandblaster, palm sander, etc).
Of course there is a practical reason for this - nobody has a garage and there is really only one suitable storeroom to keep large outdoor or shop tools.
Sorry cannot believe how childish your behaviour appears to be.
You leant a ladder to a neighbour. You don't say how long they had it. It was returned by the Wife who may not have known about your request for a few day's notice. (Why on earth would you want that ?)
You then appear to have acted extremely rudely both to her and her husband.
What you now do is apologise to them both. Say sorry you went over the top but were worried about the safety of the ladder given all the builders and others now around. Buying her a bunch of flowers would help.
You have missed the point my friend!
Nuvolari, you have posed an interesting dilemma. Surely, as you aptly decree, a little notice would not be beyond them! My advice is such, do not let their social transgressions (whether premeditated or merely inadvertent) dictate the flow of your mood, or worse, your entire disposition, and instead allow this event to slide beyond the trivialities of righteousness and causality, and instead become the means by which you can assert (internally, of course) an assumption of social and interpersonal superiority over the transgressors. You have garnered what was already yours, and despite the means by which it was returned, you have achieved a now-heightened positive self-appraisal, one which will manifest itself in increased confidence and thus perpetuate you as a successful social-being to others. Therein lies the win-win solution! I hope this helps you come to terms with this socially charged and possibly precarious situation.
Am I right in thinking your are telling Nuvolari not to be so childish ?
Personally I would be apalled if my children behaved like that.
How good is your understanding of the English language ? Reasonable ? If so then try reading my thread again properly. You may then take on a different perspective !
When your neighbours return the borrowed ladder, you complain because some construction worker *might* steal it (because we all know construction workers are all criminals). When someone doesn't agree with you, you accuse his language skills instead of, for example, asking why he doesn't agree with you in the first place. You said you lent it to the neighbour over a year ago. Do you honestly expect them - and especially the wife - to remember your request about giving you a notice? Why didn't you just ask the husband to help you move it? Instead you stomped over and demanded an apology. But I doubt you have to worry about your neighbours in the future, they'll hardly bother you after that show of neighbourly spirit.
Irrespective of whomsoever may have taken advantage of my ladder being left in plain view, as long as it lay where my neighbour left it, it was in an exposed position and might have been stolen. Moreover, criminals or not, the average construction worker is no saint, so an opportunity to half hitch a very saleable ladder would have been irresistable to any brickie, roofer or sundry pikey that drove by ( it might be sensible at this juncture to point out that my local church has had the lead stolen from its roof four times in three years and a 30 foot ladder would greatly facilitate the next roof stripping adventure ! Not only that, but my local police force and Neighbourhood Watch recently leaflettted everyone locally instructing that ladders, if left outside, should be changed to a nearby cast iron down pipe )). Furthermore, the request on my part for notice of the ladders return arises every time they aplogise for keeping the sodding thing so long anyway, so memory lapse or ignorance won't fly on that one !
Granted, I don't know them, and I don't know you. I could only speculate from what you wrote in your first posts. One year is a long time, so I understand the frustration.
Challenge her to a duel with swords ? F**k me, she'd skewer me ! She's half my age, fit as a butchers dog , and, being German, would take no prisoners ! She could keep the sodding ladder before I'd fight her with a sword. I plan to poison her dog, or maybe just superglue all her house locks up. Then again, I could always pour a cup full of sugar into her Beamer's petrol tank. My gardener showed me a handful of copper nails this morning and said he'd bang a few into each of her prized laburnum trees - that'd fix those buggers !.................as would pouring a half pint of copper sulphate solution into her coi carp pond.Then again, a nice fat and greasy human turd thrown into her swimming pool would spoil her day....................ah, revenge is such a sweet dish, I'm positively salivating just thinking about it !
Nuvolari,
Never change who you are. Your the last remnant of a dying race of old English gentlemen.
Irrespective of whomsoever may have taken advantage of my ladder being left in plain view, as long as it lay where my neighbour left it, it was in an exposed position and might have been stolen. Moreover, criminals or not, the average construction worker is no saint, so an opportunity to half hitch a very saleable ladder would have been irresistable to any brickie, roofer or sundry pikey that drove by ( it might be sensible at this juncture to point out that my local church has had the lead stolen from its roof four times in three years and a 30 foot ladder would greatly facilitate the next roof stripping adventure ! Not only that, but my local police force and Neighbourhood Watch recently leaflettted everyone locally instructing that ladders, if left outside, should be changed to a nearby cast iron down pipe )). Furthermore, the request on my part for notice of the ladders return arises every time they aplogise for keeping the sodding thing so long anyway, so memory lapse or ignorance won't fly on that one !
Maybe you've got a point but ... why on Earth do suburbanites get so upset about these things? I mean ... it's a ladder! Ok, they are selfish, inconsiderate, self-entitled, etc. Par for the course in the upscale part of town, isn't it?
Challenge her to a duel with swords ? F**k me, she'd skewer me ! She's half my age, fit as a butchers dog , and, being German, would take no prisoners ! She could keep the sodding ladder before I'd fight her with a sword. I plan to poison her dog, or maybe just superglue all her house locks up. Then again, I could always pour a cup full of sugar into her Beamer's petrol tank. My gardener showed me a handful of copper nails this morning and said he'd bang a few into each of her prized laburnum trees - that'd fix those buggers !.................as would pouring a half pint of copper sulphate solution into her coi carp pond.Then again, a nice fat and greasy human turd thrown into her swimming pool would spoil her day....................ah, revenge is such a sweet dish, I'm positively salivating just thinking about it !
Nuvolari,
Never change who you are. Your the last remnant of a dying race of old English gentlemen.
They don't make them like they used to
I have no plan to change,amigo. And even less to join that "dying" race just yet !
As for their not being made like they used to - well, that is half of the bloody problem, since being of that particular stamp, how can one expect a 30something German hausfrau to even begin to understand an Old School ex officer English gentleman, since even the memsahib occasionally fails to understand who she married !!
Irrespective of whomsoever may have taken advantage of my ladder being left in plain view, as long as it lay where my neighbour left it, it was in an exposed position and might have been stolen. Moreover, criminals or not, the average construction worker is no saint, so an opportunity to half hitch a very saleable ladder would have been irresistable to any brickie, roofer or sundry pikey that drove by ( it might be sensible at this juncture to point out that my local church has had the lead stolen from its roof four times in three years and a 30 foot ladder would greatly facilitate the next roof stripping adventure ! Not only that, but my local police force and Neighbourhood Watch recently leaflettted everyone locally instructing that ladders, if left outside, should be changed to a nearby cast iron down pipe )). Furthermore, the request on my part for notice of the ladders return arises every time they aplogise for keeping the sodding thing so long anyway, so memory lapse or ignorance won't fly on that one !
Maybe you've got a point but ... why on Earth do suburbanites get so upset about these things? I mean ... it's a ladder! Ok, they are selfish, inconsiderate, self-entitled, etc. Par for the course in the upscale part of town, isn't it?
**************************
My dear chum. In order not to occupy too much space on this forum, I first recounted this sad tale in a condensed format. I didn't mention the fact that had I have entered my house from the rear, I wouldn't have even know the ladder was there. Not only would this have left it exposed and vulnerable to theft until somebody eventually spotted it at the front of the house , but had I have gone to my garage via the rear door, started up my £130,000 Aston Martin and driven it out, I would have ridden over the bloody ladder and smashed the arse off my car. The other details, like when I borrow their tools I always thank them profusely, very often offering a nice bottle of burgundy or similar, all pale into insignificance, but nevertheless remain valid. I am glad, though, that you have accepted the fact that my neighbours wife was selfish and inconsiderate etc., since these are things that stick in the craw of the English middle classes, who, even in this decayed and despoiled age, still endeavour to subscribe to virtues unknown to the woman in question.
I shall do what I can, compadre. The mere fact that I am as definitive an example of an English WASP as can possibly be found, and that this past week my house and garden has been filled with builders/painters/plumbers and brickies, all of whom have names like Patrick, Seamus,Finn,Brendan and Coll etc. should provide ample scope for further reportage, especially when I eventually find out who it was who reversed his digger into my 150 year old ash tree knocking it to f**k !!!, and then tried to cover up the crime by concreting the f******r back into the ground. I look forward later this week to Thursday evening, when upon completion of the contract and over a celebratory Guinness and fish supper at my house, I interrogate Paddy and his little gang as to whom was responsible. My wife, who was especially found of that tree, will be heating up the instruments of torture even as I pour the Guinness and unwrap the cod and chips !!
H'm having reread all this, I now find I have very grave doubts as to whether any of this happened at all!
Seems more like a story to wind people up.
For Heavens sake, are you now adding incredulity to your stupidity ? Assuming that you don't live permanently in an oxygen tent, padded cell, iron lung or space capsule ( or a combination of all four ! ), is your life so devoid of interest or incident that NOTHING at all of any significance, even the lending of a ladder to an idiot neighbour, happens to you ?
Not that I give a tinkers cuss what it is that you find so implausible, but others may wish to know, so why not substantiate your claim..................either that or just shut the f**k up !
Your general reaction as shown to an incredibly minor incident.
Your own hackneyed cliches in describing the workers who seem to be around your property, half of them with malicious intent.
All of these with the general tenor of your posts would indicate implausibility
OK, OK, let's introduce an element of courtesy into the proceedings, since I (as do you, I am sure ) have better things to do than exchange inanities. May we first of all, though, accept that what might have appeared to you to be an"incredibly minor incident" (and if it does, then I admire your sang froid ! ), does not appear that way to me. It didn't when it happened and it still doesn't several days later. That being the case, I find it difficult to concede that any part of what I described in this forum has any degree of implausibility, which, as it happens, is a polite way of calling someone a bloody liar, and you would do well to consider that since it is not a nice thing to call someone. If you wish to persist in your allegations, why don't you be more specific ? I doubt that I could respond to them with any degree of plausibility that would satisy you, even if you wanted me to try, but it would help readers of this forum (including myself) understand exactly what you find to be so implausible. By the bye, rightly or wrongly I have asumed from your name "Peteratwar" that you might be an old war horse like myself, who despite not yet being of pensionable age, saw service in several global conflicts. In this respect, first of all I wouldn't want to upset any of my ex military peers (which may,perhaps, include yourself ? ), and secondly, should I even remotely allude to ANY part of my activities in uniform, then you, and doubtless many other readers of this forum, certainly might find that implausible..............whereas arguments with neighbours over a bloody ladder are so picayune as to be total nothingnesses !
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