20 things women should know about men

Here are 20 things that women should know about men:

20. He was not looking at that other girl. Well, okay... maybe a little. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you've never looked at another guy...

19. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.

18. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time

17. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt

16. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

15. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to


14. Sports Illustrated is a better magazine than Cosmopolitan. Just accept that

13. He did water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this happens.

12. Unless you are willing to follow the careers of Mo Vaughn, Cal Ripken, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chris Farley, don't expect him to know what Helen Gurley Brown, Hilary Clinton, Naomi Wolf or your mother are up to.

11. Things you should let him do alone: figuring out where you are, watching anything on TBS, playing cards, smoking cigars/cigarettes and picking out the beer

10. No" means no, and "Yes" means yes. Silence means he can't get a word in edgewise

9. Believe it or not, he could care less how he looks when he's drunk.

8. Of course he wants another beer.

7. Don't even bother touching the remote, just tell him what you want to see

6. A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence, "You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here having freaky circus sex all night?"

5. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner

4. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm

3. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny

2. He does not just want to be friends

1. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.


Edited by morticia - 31-May-2007 at 11:43

19. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.

Originally posted by Aelfgifu 13. He did water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this happens. I do not have plants. They die. Always. No matter what I do. No man can possibly be worse than me when it comes to plants.

Have you ever tried a cactus?

Originally posted by Mixcoatl Originally posted by Aelfgifu 13. He did water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this happens. I do not have plants. They die. Always. No matter what I do. No man can possibly be worse than me when it comes to plants. Have you ever tried a cactus?

Edited by Aelfgifu - 04-Jun-2007 at 03:29

Originally posted by ArmenianSurvival Originally posted by Aelfgifu My father is a great cook. As a result, I will expect nothing less than perfection from any male wishing to share my life. Don't expect me to cook. I won't.      You seriously shouldn't plan on marrying any Armenian guys (or eastern guys in general)      Honestly though, if you want a guy whose that good of a cook, you've basically eliminated a good 95% of the bachelor pool right off the bat. It would be like a guy saying "My mother is a Judo master, so I want a woman who will defend me from an attacker, don't expect me to do it".

Learn. The fastest way to a girls heart. Not a single one can resist a guy that cooks.

Edited by Aelfgifu - 04-Jun-2007 at 05:07

Originally posted by ArmenianSurvival      You seriously shouldn't plan on marrying any Armenian guys (or eastern guys in general)      Honestly though, if you want a guy whose that good of a cook, you've basically eliminated a good 95% of the bachelor pool right off the bat. It would be like a guy saying "My mother is a Judo master, so I want a woman who will defend me from an attacker, don't expect me to do it".

Ah, not at all. I know quite a few guys who are very good cooks, including an Armenian and an Arab. Ability to cook is totally non-related to ability to fight: one of the best cooks I know is actually a martial arts instructor. Anyway I really suggest you learn how to make a nice feast dinner. It's a very useful skill.

Originally posted by Aelfgifu Learn. The fastest way to a girls heart. Not a single one can resist a guy that cooks.

This goes for men also. The road to a man's heart definitely goes to his stomach. Clich� perhaps, but true.


Edited by Styrbiorn - 04-Jun-2007 at 06:59

That is so sexist 

Originally posted by Styrbiorn That is so sexist