QuoteReplyTopic: Why do we feel embarassed for others? Posted: 09-Mar-2006 at 12:30
like yourself and others, it hurts when i see other people in distress or with dissabilities. i believe this sense of caring and even embarrasment, comes down to our humanity and the fact that regardless of our differences in appearance, language, religon, and so on, we are all in some way connected to each other.
unfortunately not every person has humanity. to some, it's all one big laugh.
When we see others undeservedly suffering or losing, it troubles us because this contradicts our sense of fairness or how we think outcomes should occur if we were in that person's position. The concept of fairness is deeply rooted in human consciousness, it was a major psychological development which occured as primates formed into collaborative groups with a degree of mutual need. Fairness is the primate logic which ensures things run well, for that process to be disrupted is psychologically troubling for us.
I think this is one of the main points of the dilemma. Much like in economics, society also functions by way of the "invisible hand", i.e., some faith in the natural order of things that ensures that if we follow certain rules and meet certain criteria, we will get certain results, and that everything works itself out in the end. Perhaps I consciously or subconsciously felt that his difficulties were not deserved. But this means that I had to make the initial assumption that he was a benign person. This goes back to another thing Constantine said, where if this guy had treated me like crap and stole my girlfriend, I would never feel sorry for him. So I'm guessing I felt sorry for him because I made the initial assumption that he was generally a good person, and that his suffering (to whatever extent) was unwarranted. Why did I not assume that some other aspect of his life "made up" for the fact that he stutters? Would you say I didn't make this assumption because I have doubts about the fairness of the natural order of things?
Originally posted by Quetzalcoatl
I'll also add that putting ourselves into the shoes of someone else, even for a brief moment, help us to learn by mimicry.
Originally posted by Constantine XI
I think that human beings have a natural tendency to feel empathy, or to place themselves in others' position
Some philosophers who advocate secular morality over religious morality believe that the basis of all our moral actions comes from what you two (and others) just described. It is this "council of others" that we imagine in our heads everytime we are faced with a moral dilemma. "What would he think if I did this?", "What would they say if I did that?", and so on. Basically, putting ourselves in someone else's shoes to judge our own actions. For non-theists, this council includes loved ones and whoever is considered a valuable social contact. Theists have this same "council of others", except their council includes God(s). This "coucil of others" was one of the best ways (in my opinion) to explain the existence of morally-good atheists against the notion that "without religion, there is no morality". So in much the same way that we predict what people will think of our actions, maybe we also naturally put ourselves in others' position. The feeling of empathy could arise from the fact that we imagine what others will think of us if we were in that person's position.
Here's another situation to think about. It was actually an Aussie comic who said this at the Just for Laughs festival and i was dying laughing when I saw it. He said:
Why is it that when someone accidently spits on you when theyre talking, you don't say anything? You see him look at the spit, and he saw you look at it, so you both know it happened. But yet we don't say anything because we don't want to embarass him in front of other people. HE SPIT ON YOU and you're worried about hurting his feelings lmfao.
This is very true, and if you haven't really noticed this before you'll realise next time it happens. My friends spit like camels when they talk and it happens all the time, and when it happens it's very akward. You both kinda look at each other funny and you pretend it never happend.
Here's another situation
to think about. It was actually an Aussie comic who said this at the
Just for Laughs festival and i was dying laughing when I saw it. He
said:
Why is it that when someone accidently spits on you when
theyre talking, you don't say anything? You see him look at the spit,
and he saw you look at it, so you both know it happened. But yet we
don't say anything because we don't want to embarass him in front of
other people. HE SPIT ON YOU and you're worried about hurting his
feelings lmfao.
This is very true, and if you haven't really
noticed this before you'll realise next time it happens. My friends
spit like camels when they talk and it happens all the time, and when
it happens it's very akward. You both kinda look at each other funny
and you pretend it never happend.
very weird...
Hahhaha thats totally true. Good call. Very Seinfeld.
"Your country ain't your blood. Remember that." -Santino Corelone
This is very true, and if you haven't really noticed this before you'll realise next time it happens. My friends spit like camels when they talk and it happens all the time, and when it happens it's very akward. You both kinda look at each other funny and you pretend it never happend.very weird...
Maybe they were just scared of you and how intimidated you make them feel with your freakish imposing strength and your obvious intellectual superiority made them coward for fear of your devine wrath.
I know people who will walk up to you and look at your nose and start rubbing their own just to see if you will sub-consiously start rubbing your own nose. I wonder if their jedi mind tricks have ever worked...
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